Dual....:-)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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