do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
