At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
