So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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