She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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