I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
