And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So here I am, sexting at work.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
