Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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