Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
