and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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