Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
