And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
