I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
