I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
