i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
