Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
