Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She bit a glass in half.
Houston, we have a blender
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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