I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
