i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
