so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
