if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
