Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
