i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
