Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
