there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
