I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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