Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
