we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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