hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
