Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
