But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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