just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My life is pants optional.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
