Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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