I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
