My first STD was from a foam party
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
