Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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