You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
