So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
MIDGETS
????
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
