how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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