you guys were way drunker than both of me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want to make out with him forever
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
