sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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