u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
