Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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