Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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