reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
