Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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