It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
