every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
