When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
