She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
