Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
