I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
