im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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